Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Procrastination and Addictions

Warning .... this is long!

Oh man I like to procrastinate .... terrible habit! I have SOOOO much I am doing and working on and not actually working on it .... /sigh

When Final Fantasy XIV came out, man I was so addicted. I was injured from work so I figured it was a good a time as any to play as much as possible D: Don't get me wrong, I still love the game and the franchise but I haven't played since I transferred servers and don't really feel bad about it (minus not speaking to my lovely new friends I met. MISS YOU <3).

My online business, body and art have taken a huge dive thanks to my addiction and laziness and it has to stop. I feel crappy all the time and so down on myself. For example I was looking at some of the reference letters from my teachers and how they were talking about me being an out going individual who loved everyone and could make anyone having a bad day be bright and cheerful. I was also always doodling and trying to incorporate art into all of my projects where I could.
~~~shout out to Mr. H, Mr. C, and Mrs. J ~~~
After reading those, I felt a sense of shame and regret. What happened to me? I go to work and I become negative (usually fake it in front of customers because I believe in customer service where its deserved).
[side note: if my boss is reading this for some reason then maybe being nice to your customers will make them come back you scrooge].

Majority of my co-workers are happy showing up doing the least amount and a comfortable pace and brooding amongst themselves about how much they 'hate' where they are, what they make and where they work but have no motivation to do anything about it. It makes me frustrated and negative and I've found myself joining in their conversations! Ridiculous. However, I am not satisfied where I am and DO have the motivation to change it. So I am making plans to move to Korea in June to teach for the company I have been working with for some time now (love you Soon Min <3).

In said process of all this, my boyfriend, who will be accompanying me, doesn't know any Korean and up till this point wasn't interested in any of the music or TV (except one movie) that I love and listen to so much. It caused a few pains in my chest. But now, even if its to listen to the pronunciation, he asks to listen to my music :D Makes me happy. But anyways, I searched the internet for classes or tutors and found one on kijiji.ca . An amazing individual (not gonna name names because he is kinda reserved and not sure how he would feel about it) native to South Korea who was offering lessons for an awesome price!

I am blessed to have found this person. He has made me realize that my version of Korean was very lacking and almost completely wrong. I had taught myself through lyrics and over-the-top dramas. Although I had a base on the grammar from Japanese .... it was lacking so bad from not actually speaking Japanese on a constant basis and lyrics are horrible excuses for conversational grammar. I do know quite a bit of Korean, but his lessons are teaching me so much about the language, culture and people and my spelling @_@.

Some of my older fans might notice I took down the MEDE story page and replaced it with my soon to be Tattoo Gallery. My story is not a huge priority in my life right now and I really need to get my priorities straight, like seriously. So after my business function in Regina last weekend I have promised myself to work on 4 things until I can get myself into a routine I feel I can add more into.

Me / Relationship

In that order. So the next few posts will definitely have a new sketch because this IS a sketch a day blog. I am disappointed that I stopped. It might not be every day just yet as I need to adjust to a schedule I'm setting for myself but I will work back up into doing it daily. I also have a goal to loose weight before Korea ..... so I'm not told I look like a whale (I know you guys mean well but I've been watching too many videos on the tube of you from some amazing people and they are SKINNY and told they are fat) plus its healthier. And business because extra monies to pay off stuff and have that little extra just in-case will be amazing, especially since my bf wont be working. That and my goal is retirement before 30.

Anyways I know this is really long but feels good. Love you all. <3

P.S. I know I have a channel showing my art but was thinking of vloging as well at some point. Build my confidence of speaking to people (even though there wont be actually any one there, but I know how many possible people could be). It would be fun too. Not sure what kind of show I would do or what I would talk about. Ideas?

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