Thursday, March 02, 2017


Today feels like a day I should be happy, and for the most part I am I guess. I have an awesome insurance agent that reduced my premium from $295 to $216 a month and finally got our marriage license. But with the marriage license comes the feeling of am I worth it? Is this what I want? Is this what my partner wants? Are we happy?
Little things are starting to become bigger and more serious things and all of our problems with ourselves and each other are coming out. Its reminding me of all the stupid things I have done and do and my past mistakes that continue to haunt me. My partners culture is very focused on the past and its hard to get my view of 'dragging the past behind you, will stop you from moving forward the way you want' across. It will take time and they are trying to understand but that is the issues with a multi-cultural and large age gap relationship. 

Hopefully better news tomorrow! At least I'm working <3

Love you all

Wednesday, March 01, 2017

Been a long time....

I call this 'If you...'. It's a self portrait of the recent things I have been hearing and thinking lately about how my life and those in it are changing and affecting me.
Hello fans and readers,
Been a long time I know. Today is March 1 of 2017, so I figured it was a good starting point for me. I hate to come back being all sad, but its helped me draw a bit today so it worked out. This image comes from "If you only lost this much." "If you didn't have tattoos there" "If you had/hadn't of done that." etc. that I have been hearing a lot lately. I feel that with the weight ones specifically I am beginning to get an eating disorder, but I will resist as best as I can. It's all starting to drag me down and question everything in my life right now.

I'm not sure who I am anymore. Will I ever be good enough, to myself and those I look up to? On the outside my life is going fairly well. Should soon be married, tattoo conventions, business plans, travel and making enough doing super part time work with a shop, clients and tattoos I like. But for some reason I just feel empty. I will continue to work on myself, my happiness and growing as an artist and person. I do plan on attempting to update this daily from here on out, but with all things happening at once it should be at least every other day!

Thank you for the continued support.
Love you all