Almost

Almost 

Today feels like a day I should be happy, and for the most part I am I guess. I have an awesome insurance agent that reduced my premium from $295 to $216 a month and finally got our marriage license. But with the marriage license comes the feeling of am I worth it? Is this what I want? Is this what my partner wants? Are we happy?

Little things are starting to become bigger and more serious things and all of our problems with ourselves and each other are coming out. Its reminding me of all the stupid things I have done and do and my past mistakes that continue to haunt me. My partners culture is very focused on the past and its hard to get my view of 'dragging the past behind you, will stop you from moving forward the way you want' across. It will take time and they are trying to understand but that is the issues with a multi-cultural and large age gap relationship. 

Hopefully better news tomorrow! At least I'm working <3

Love you all

Been a long time....

I call this 'If you...'. It's a self portrait of the recent things I have been hearing and thinking lately about how my life and those in it are changing and affecting me.

Hello fans and readers,

Been a long time I know. Today is March 1 of 2017, so I figured it was a good starting point for me. I hate to come back being all sad, but its helped me draw a bit today so it worked out. This image comes from "If you only lost this much." "If you didn't have tattoos there" "If you had/hadn't of done that." etc. that I have been hearing a lot lately. I feel that with the weight ones specifically I am beginning to get an eating disorder, but I will resist as best as I can. It's all starting to drag me down and question everything in my life right now.

I'm not sure who I am anymore. Will I ever be good enough, to myself and those I look up to? On the outside my life is going fairly well. Should soon be married, tattoo conventions, business plans, travel and making enough doing super part time work with a shop, clients and tattoos I like. But for some reason I just feel empty. I will continue to work on myself, my happiness and growing as an artist and person. I do plan on attempting to update this daily from here on out, but with all things happening at once it should be at least every other day!

Thank you for the continued support.

Love you all

Dear future partner,

I've seen these requirements posts floating around and I thought I would do one. What I am looking for in a partner (I like men and women equally) might not be what everyone else generally wants.

1. My first love language is Quality Time:
Spending quality time with me. This one is just under priority of acts of service. Doesn't have to be a date and honestly hate wasting money on silly things. But I am easy to please and if you are by my side I am generally happy. But don't just sit on a couch all day playing games with me in the house awkwardly sitting beside you. I love video games and most that I play are multiplayer. I'm also into going and trying new things. I want to be more active and social. Let's do things together! 

2. My second, after a lot of thought, is Words of Affirmation:

I love to give and receive this one. I do my best to always give but noticing a lack of receiving. I was lying in bed and started thinking of all the people I have dated. All but two never told me I was pretty without me asking first. Very few would acknowledge or thank me for things I did. Makes me sad. So thank you Richard and 홍규, my two long distance relationships. I just want to find someone who thinks I am the best thing for them and tells me and uplifts me.

3. Everyone is all of them but some more then others. Here they are to me in order of importance. 

Service: If I fall in love with you, I will do almost everything to make you happy. But some help with daily/weekly chores or errands goes along way. Show me how much you care by helping me (don't take over if I'm doing something and you want to help. Then help.). This isn't just chores, could be a project I'm working on or help with something I'm struggling with. Show me you think I'm your equal.

Touch: Now this one is and isn't important. As much as I LOVE hugs, kisses and holding hands and cuddles, if I get at least a hug and a kiss everyday then I will be happy. I will shower you with as many as you want/can handle haha. 

Gifts: I love to give gifts. But feel awkward getting them if they are too big. Simple little "I was thinking of you" gifts are great! Like your out shopping and see ... My favorite kind of pocky and get me a box. Or handmade/thoughtful gifts are the best. But by all means I am not saying this has to be a daily or even monthly thing. It's last on my list, because yes it's nice but not important to me. 

4. Compromise and Accept: I have challenges, medical and mental. Someone who can understand and possibly compromise if outcomes don't work out. As mentioned before, if I fall in love with you, I'm in it 100% and will do my best to make you happy even if I compromise a lot in the beginning. 

So simply. Tell me I'm pretty and say thank you and or be grateful for my efforts. Help me out and be my equal. Do things with me even if it's a walk. You don't have to tell me you love me, just show me and a thoughtful gesture here and there is always welcomed. And understand my challenges and try to accept them. 

Seems easy, but hard to find ....

Games and Self Worth

So to try and get away from how nasty the world can be sometimes, I play video games. As anyone who knows me, I like fantasy. Final Fantasy. And what better game then one with a whole bunch of other people who love FF playing together and making memories! Above is a quick sketch of my Scholar (healer). I was a TaruTaru/Lalafell (midget) before but Mithra/Miquote (cat girl) are easier to cosplay (dress up) later on.

I have come to love this character and all the stuff I have accomplished with her. I may color and finish it later but for now I like it as a sketch. I am also impressed with how my art style is changing for the better it seems. I can still do a total anime style if I like but still working on the realistic side. However, I feel I am heading in the right direction.

Not being in a relationship has its good and bad points I suppose. I give 100% when in one I am happy in which leaves not a lot left for myself but I make it work. When I am single I am depressed but tend to focus on myself more. Win/loose.

It has been awhile since drawing something I really like instead of tattoo art. It was nice. I wish more people accepted digital drawn art. I show my work to people and they ask how I did it and when I say Photoshop they assume its just manipulation. NO, I have a drawing tablet and instead of cutting down trees and using a ton of supplies, I have it all free, in front of me on a easier to use and better for my hands and wrist digital format. Mistakes are easier to fix and no longer mean that an almost finished painting gets water on it and ruins it. Don't get me wrong, I love traditional art as well. I like the look of it better to be honest, But from a talent point of view, I see no difference.

Anyways rant over.
Love you all <3

P.S. some pictures from my FF memories.

 Taru King and myself!

 Fishing!

 Hotspring

 Lantern Festival

 oh man that hideous top I had to wear for 5 levels.....

 Crystal Tower Story was the best so far

 Fun at the beach with my friends

 more Crystal Tower Stuff

 What my character looks like right now (got new gear!)

 What she used to look like....

 Aw yeah.... glowing book

 Friends got married! Then left the server ; ;

 Chilling at Lina's house

Good Night!

Ramblings of the Hopless

Why?
You broke me to not hurt me.
Confusion,
Anger,
Pain,
Sadness.
What did I really do wrong?
Was there no way to fix it?
Was there no feelings at all?
If there was not,
Thank you for not crushing me later down the road.
If there was,
am I not worth it?
I knew the path I was on with you.
Accepted,
Sacrificed,
Opened my walls.
I did not mind.
I would have waited a lifetime.
If only to share with you,
How amazing it feels to be with you.
So please enlighten me how it is not fair,
That the small sacrifice of waiting,
Is more hurtful than this earth shattering sadness I have right now.
If my only fault was loving you,
Then I will move on if you not longer wish for me.
Lets stay close,
So I do not stray into the darkness.
I will forever hold a piece of you in my heart,
Even if the tears try to wash it away.

I love you.

So now that's out of the way. My trip to Maui was eventful to say the least. The best parts for me were the road to Hana, seeing the look on my niece's face as we when to get "tattoos" (hena) like aunty, eating more then I should have in gelato (soooo frikken good) and getting the start of my tattoo sleeve done for an awesome price. Some of the bad: too much beach time, Sunburns, sleeping on the floor, and my dad being rushed to the hospital. Both parents are still in Hawaii. My dad is recovering fast and we hope to see them home soon.

The poem is for what happened when I got home. I missed 2 things. My bed and my boyfriend.
I don't want to go into details. I am just very depressed and confused. I have amazing friends and family who are being so supportive right now.
Anyways I will post the link to the photos from the trip soon.

Love you all.

New stuff

So this is the picture that I painted for my newest tattoos I did on my feet. 

This new year is looking promising. I've finally started to clean up the negative and garbage in my life and I am actually starting to feel genuinely happy again. I felt like I didn't know who I was anymore, that I was trapped in a nightmare caused from my own issues. 

I have since free'd myself from enough of those chains that I can breathe and start to think clearly again. It has opened my world to new opportunities, friendships and dare I say, love?

I feel 2015 will be the start of a new me. A better version of what I used to be (when I loved myself) blended with who I ideally want to be. 

I was asked what my greatest accomplishment was ... And I couldn't answer. What HAVE I actually accomplished? I get so lazy and unfocused I don't ever seem to stick to any one thing, or take forever to finish it. 

My resolution this year is to focus. Even if that means being taught how. 

I have also surprisingly added another 'distraction' to my plate. This one in the form of an amazing person that fills me with joy and is teaching me to let go, love and enjoy myself. 

Online dating is hard but I have met many amazing men and women through it and now have some sweet friends. However, the place I actually meet this person is at a housewarming party playing games and talking about online dating haha. Go figure. 

Anyways. I am sure there will be more about this person in later posts but for now I will try to get some sleep as I lay awake thinking about my future and my current happiness. 

Goodnight beautiful people, you are amazing. 

New things

 There is beauty even in the ugliest weeds.

Being in a relationship can be rewarding and hard, but so is being on your own.

I am finding this out.
A lot is happening to me all at once, most bad but some good has come from it as well.

October started with the rather horrible fall out of my employer/client. He didn't seem to trust me to do my job and so nasty things were said and we parted ways (we have since apologized to each other and I feel meeting up again in the future would be pleasant). I had expected this anyways and had another job lined up.

The night after my first day of that job I had broken with my boyfriend of almost 3 years in a rather horrible way as well and found out a childhood friends mother had passed of MS literally an hour after the break-up. While I had been on the fence about the break-up, the news of the death was bittersweet, she no longer is suffering but its sad to see her gone. I am by no means religious but I send my thoughts to my friend and her family. <3 you Kayla, you will always be my sister.

The following day of work, the doctors said the stress from what happened caused it to start, but near the end of the day I had twisted around to see my co-worker and was in such severe pain I was throwing up and shaking. After keeping down a strong pain pill, I managed to finish the day and go home. That evening a friend that I also love dearly called me up and asked if I wanted to check out the downtown farmers market! Those that know me, of course I said yes! The pill was lasting through that but started to wear off in the grocery store to get the things we couldn't get at the market. I didnt know what was going on.

When pills wear off its not usually a gradual way, its like ... "nope okay times up, have fun" and again had an awful time vomiting and in pain. I felt so embarrassed and ashamed. She is a nurse and I respect her so much and I was being so pathetic. She sat with me until I calmed down and helped me as much as she could, cancelling her evening plans. Eventually she convinced me to go to the emergency which she drove me in my car.

That place was stupid. There were like no people there and they literally forgot about us until someone came in and was like "oh you're still here" and then a doctor finally came in, asked questions and gave me nerve medicine. At this point we all still thought it was a back sprain or re-injury of my previous back injury. However, Joanne (nurse friend) thought it could be stones.

So after handing the WCB paper to my new employer after 3 days of work, they let me go lol. I kinda expected it. I spent the next few days looking for work online and dealing with my continual pain. 2 nights of no sleep will only make things worse ... trust me. After 4 hours of trying to sleep, walk off the pain, I finally give up and wake up my ex (which we have decided to still live together) to tell him I'm going to the hospital beside our house. He gets up and takes me instead (4am btw). We get there and a few people are waiting in the waiting room but its not too bad. They get me all done and give me the awkward cup for a urine sample. After a minute of waiting I decide to get the sample. Now I am not sure how long the other people were waiting but I heard the guy call me up while I was still in the bathroom (crazy fast!)

Again a bit more agonizing waiting as they process my sample. You can really tell when they had it finished though! Doctors came in and said I had Kidney stones .... YAY *sarcasm* And they start hooking me up to IV and get me in for a CT scan. I have 8 of the buggers and I am a farmer for them. Cause: I don't drink enough water and possible calcium deficiency.

Lesson learned: DRINK MORE WATER

After that a few more things happened and I also found out my Korean tutors mom passed this Thanksgiving weekend. It is also the anniversary of my sisters death this Thanksgiving weekend.

All in all, I feel like I am starting to get myself back. I am someone that gives my all in a relationship and I think I gave too much to make something work that maybe wasnt ment to be or not yet ment to be. Who knows.

My current goals are to start loving myself again, start this blog again, work more on my art and comic, and better myself. As I am now, I feel empty, lost and confused but also optimistic for the future.

Everyone deserves happiness. After this crazy month I hope something amazing will happen to counter all the bad.

Thanks for reading and love you all. <3

I also want to shout out my my amazing family (blood or not) who have been there for me through all this badness both emotionally and financially. You are all amazing and I love you. <3

Empty

Another Empty Soul
I find myself on a slippery slope,
heading for a bottomless pit.

My heart has given up,
on what it longed for.
There is no excitement
or up lift there.
Just sadness and sorrow
to look at and stare.
An empty vessel
on a sea of dreams,
no outstretched hand
to drag me out of there.
Down I go into darkness,
the light above gets dimmer
as I go on my ride downward.
I am not looking back,
too many broken dreams there.
The darkness will soon engulf me,
and then I will be gone.
Who will sing my praises?
No one I fear.
I will be another empty soul,
on a sea that is already full,
too aimless
to find any way back.

David Harris

 

Not sure what to do anymore. I need to change some things in my life before I hit the bottom. I feel emotionless and over emotional at the same time. I am starting to feel guilty about everything I do and say in my life. 

I want to start this blog again, loose weight to the point I can take a full body picture and not hate myself (and for the record, I like my curves ... just not as much of them), take more pictures, work on my languages and businesses and just find time to find myself again.

I don't know who I am anymore. So lost and confused. I used to have dreams and passions ... and when asked what they are ... I think long and hard and can't think of anything that drives me to the point of tears or would kill me to never achieve. I'm starting to get addicted to games again because I feel I can be someone special, that I AM someone special to people. I have an amazing group of friends that are excited when I log on and we can go explore and fight together. 

 

Some days I wish the world was really like that. 

I find out that Robin Williams died today, from apparent suicide. And want to remind everyone that people will hide their issues, those that seem the happiest are usually hiding the most. BE KIND TO EVERYONE because you never know what might be the tipping point in someone's life.

I haven't felt happy in a long time. Feel like my feeling don't matter, that I, honestly don't matter.
This feeling of neglect, disrespect, lack of love .... hurts. But its starting to numb out, like I am used to it. 

I want to matter.

I want to be special, feel special.

I want to be someones everything, the reason they do what they do.

I want to change someones life for the better.

As I am now, I feel I will only hurt people the way I am hurting inside.

I know this will pass or I will hide it with everything else. And I am truly sorry for being so negative.

 

So I need to evaluate my life and everything in it. 

You shall see me more soon.

Maybe I will post weight loss progress pictures for you all.  Would you like that?

<3

New hair and thoughts

So yeah went back to natural or it will when the Demi permanent fades out. But I will enjoy the cherry orange for a bit! 

So I'm curious why more guys don't watch "chick flicks". We obviously like them because of the relationship the characters have is what we really want but know we will never get. 

I met a guy who watched these. Learned from them. He was sweet and genuine but I was so used to not having romance like that it was weird and I didn't know how to react to it without feeling like my 6 year old self fantasizing about castles and Prince Charming. 

Why is it so wrong to have a movie type romance? Most are based off real events or fantasies that someone WANTS. I think the world would be a better place if we all loved like that. Uplifting and special. The whole "I would take a bullet for you" or I guess with societies fascination with vampires and zombies "I would take a bite for you" ( I'm guilty for the zombies haha)

What I'm trying to say is, guys (and some of you ladies) stop trying to impress your friends of how cool you are by making your partner feel like crap and make them jelous of what you have and they don't.

I am tired of hearing, seeing and feeling the hurt from others and myself. Why can't we all feel special? Like someone wants us and needs us and no one can replace us. 

Anyways. Respect and understanding is what I'm trying to get at. 

Love you all

Food, Holidays, Cops and North Korean A$$holes

Ah cooking ~ something I really do enjoy doing. I love making new things and experimenting <3 This is my aunts boyfriends daughter. I had a lot of fun drawing this. I had intended to do shading but it looked odd with the background so I left it like this and it works! I like the smaller lines too. I played with bigger lines with her brothers which will be tomorrow.

Been having troubles sleeping. You know the whole not being able to turn your brain off thing? I'm disturbed that I can't seem to keep this up and I am falling behind in what I want to do. Saying that I have dropped some weight which is nice. I just wish I could get the dances I'm learning down haha. It is building my confidence though! I am eating an Asian pear while typing this. To be honest it is the first time I have knowingly had it and its soooo good. Bites like fresh cold solid watermelon but tastes like a pear in the shape of an apple. It is quite the experience.

Today I was stopped by the cops .... because my car was SO dirty they couldnt read my license plate clearly enough. No ticket so I went and washed my car but it was a wand wash with no dry system. being -17C today I have little frozen ice droplets all over my car .... look awesome.

Holidays are coming up and I honestly am not really looking forward to them. I don't feel in the holiday spirit what-so-ever. Still a week to go so it might change. I wonder if anyone else feels this way ~

Anyways. I am a proud Nasty and really support Simon and Martina. I love the cause they chose this year and for it to work no one needs to spend money! Watch, like, fav, share, click and vote. All it takes!
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Anyways goodnight! Love you all <3

Winter love birds

So this is my tutors roommate and his girlfriend from Korea! She is visiting until February. I have had the pleasure of meeting both of them a couple times now. They are so sweet together :3

After lessons we went to a local farmers market in the city by UofA campus. Felt more like a craft sale but still equally awesome. We also met up with another of his friends who plays in the military band. He was playing with his buddies at the market and it was so pretty. It was nice to sight see a bit.

Sorry I haven't posted in so long. Working long hours at my new job and its exhausting. Things are piling up on me and kinda stressing myself out! Need to stop it haha. Other then that I have been making plans to get myself up to schedule and speed with what I want to do versus what I feel I can do. So Regular updates should start happening soon. To be honest probably wont start till after the holidays.... Just to be safe :)

Anyways love you all!

:D

Drew a picture of my Korean tutor and my Boyfriend :D I made my tutor alittle taller but yeah haha. this was fun to do. And had an awesome day today.

First was our lessons where I think I didn't do too bad. I feel great about my knowledge and then I'm put on the spot and my head goes blank ^-^; I think I should try to think the greetings in my head when I am meeting new people etc. in my daily life to help get used to them.

My tattoo on Linda was a lot of fun! She is such a strong woman to not only sit on a table for 3 hours so I can tattoo her foot but to also go through the pain of having a tattoo on her foot! I'm digg'n her new hair cut and I think it suits her well and damn she lost weight and looks sexy! Love ya girl! <3

After had dinner with my family and had my cousin come by too for a surprise. It was awesome to see my ferret Douglas again ... I miss him dearly. And on the way home the fog was so bad I was driving like 80km/hr the whole way ! (normal 100-110) We are expected to have a snow storm at some point ... I hope it waits till after my first day at my new day job tomorrow. Well thats it for tonight.

Love you all <3

Diane re-do!

Well since Fai's was at a table I figured I should do hers at one too! lol I like this one much better. :3 I hope she does too! I have been making a lot of new contacts and friends and it's great. A lot of them are speaking to me in Korean which is helping :D

Looking forward to starting my new job tomorrow. Its really close to my house and the manager I will have is really nice and straight forward. I think we will get along well. She believes in respect for employees and management so plus plus. I need to keep this short because I have more studying to do before tomorrow.

I am also very excited to be giving my very very close friend Linda a tattoo tomorrow. She's like a sister to me and I can give her son Ethan his birthday gift finally! haha. Anyways.

Love you all <3

Fai

This was fun to draw. I really liked the picture she had up on the Penpal site that we connected on. She is learning English and a really smart girl! I really like her smile and giggle ^-^

 I feel bad that I spent more time on this then the one previous so tomorrow will be a re-do of Diane. She also introduced me to a site for people interested in Korean culture and want to go and make friends. the chat is always so crazy haha.

I finally managed to get my Korean and Japanese keyboards working on my computer now which making responding to the messages a lot easier. It is hard to learn using an English keyboard though haha.

Well a few more informitive videos on YouTube and then off to bed.

Love you all <3

Diane from the Philippines

It is a sketch blog and got busy tonight so I did an actual sketch tonight. I met a girl from the Philippines today and she is really awesome. She's really into Korean culture and stuff so we had a lot to talk about and she is an artist as well. :D

Tomorrow I will sketch another of my new friends from Thailand! (if she is ohkay with that) I might also re-do this a bit better later for her. So yeah a quick post tonight. I want to shout out to all the people who are helping me learn and wanting to be my friend!

Hmmm I don't really have a lot to say tonight!
Love you all <3

weeeeeeeeee

Wasn't sure what to draw and I promised a picture! so I drew myself haha >.> well the way I see myself? I definitely like the way I look in clothing better then bare skinned but meh. So Im making a promise to myself to loose 50lbs before June! RAWR haha I will do it so I can be fashionable (sorrta) in South Korea.

Man conversational Korean is proving to hurt my brain but its fun and our teacher is super nice and easy on the eyes haha. I have also taken it upon myself to meet new people from the countries I want to learn or better myself in their language! I have a few new friends now ^-^ YAY excited. It will be fun to meet with a whole bunch of people.

So I have a tattoo that I have yet to finish and it was my first one! So for all my Alberta, B.C. and Saskatchewan fans, if you would like a tattoo let me know and the proceeds will go to getting mine finished before I go! I need about $700-$1000 which is only like 13-20 hours of work for my rates. Wish I could make that at my day job haha.  For those that don't want ink and looking for artwork I will be doing prints and commissions to raise money for Tattoo/Korea. I need to force myself to get into a schedule and art work habit and business habit. Hopefully this will cure my procrastination disease lol.

Other then that I hope to post another tomorrow! I will do this! Still thinking of what kind of vlog I would want to do. Any tattoo/art/questions can be posted and answered on my Facebook Page :D

Love you all <3

Procrastination and Addictions

Warning .... this is long!

Oh man I like to procrastinate .... terrible habit! I have SOOOO much I am doing and working on and not actually working on it .... /sigh

When Final Fantasy XIV came out, man I was so addicted. I was injured from work so I figured it was a good a time as any to play as much as possible D: Don't get me wrong, I still love the game and the franchise but I haven't played since I transferred servers and don't really feel bad about it (minus not speaking to my lovely new friends I met. MISS YOU <3).

My online business, body and art have taken a huge dive thanks to my addiction and laziness and it has to stop. I feel crappy all the time and so down on myself. For example I was looking at some of the reference letters from my teachers and how they were talking about me being an out going individual who loved everyone and could make anyone having a bad day be bright and cheerful. I was also always doodling and trying to incorporate art into all of my projects where I could.
~~~shout out to Mr. H, Mr. C, and Mrs. J ~~~
After reading those, I felt a sense of shame and regret. What happened to me? I go to work and I become negative (usually fake it in front of customers because I believe in customer service where its deserved).
[side note: if my boss is reading this for some reason then maybe being nice to your customers will make them come back you scrooge].

Majority of my co-workers are happy showing up doing the least amount and a comfortable pace and brooding amongst themselves about how much they 'hate' where they are, what they make and where they work but have no motivation to do anything about it. It makes me frustrated and negative and I've found myself joining in their conversations! Ridiculous. However, I am not satisfied where I am and DO have the motivation to change it. So I am making plans to move to Korea in June to teach for the company I have been working with for some time now (love you Soon Min <3).

In said process of all this, my boyfriend, who will be accompanying me, doesn't know any Korean and up till this point wasn't interested in any of the music or TV (except one movie) that I love and listen to so much. It caused a few pains in my chest. But now, even if its to listen to the pronunciation, he asks to listen to my music :D Makes me happy. But anyways, I searched the internet for classes or tutors and found one on kijiji.ca . An amazing individual (not gonna name names because he is kinda reserved and not sure how he would feel about it) native to South Korea who was offering lessons for an awesome price!

I am blessed to have found this person. He has made me realize that my version of Korean was very lacking and almost completely wrong. I had taught myself through lyrics and over-the-top dramas. Although I had a base on the grammar from Japanese .... it was lacking so bad from not actually speaking Japanese on a constant basis and lyrics are horrible excuses for conversational grammar. I do know quite a bit of Korean, but his lessons are teaching me so much about the language, culture and people and my spelling @_@.

Some of my older fans might notice I took down the MEDE story page and replaced it with my soon to be Tattoo Gallery. My story is not a huge priority in my life right now and I really need to get my priorities straight, like seriously. So after my business function in Regina last weekend I have promised myself to work on 4 things until I can get myself into a routine I feel I can add more into.

Me / Relationship

Business

Language

Art

In that order. So the next few posts will definitely have a new sketch because this IS a sketch a day blog. I am disappointed that I stopped. It might not be every day just yet as I need to adjust to a schedule I'm setting for myself but I will work back up into doing it daily. I also have a goal to loose weight before Korea ..... so I'm not told I look like a whale (I know you guys mean well but I've been watching too many videos on the tube of you from some amazing people and they are SKINNY and told they are fat) plus its healthier. And business because extra monies to pay off stuff and have that little extra just in-case will be amazing, especially since my bf wont be working. That and my goal is retirement before 30.

Anyways I know this is really long but feels good. Love you all. <3

P.S. I know I have a channel showing my art but was thinking of vloging as well at some point. Build my confidence of speaking to people (even though there wont be actually any one there, but I know how many possible people could be). It would be fun too. Not sure what kind of show I would do or what I would talk about. Ideas?

Internet, Kpop, FFXIV

Finally have internet after a week of waiting haha. Got a lot of work done though, moving into the new place. I feel at ease at this new place. its so relaxing and amazing seeing the birds on the tree outside the kitchen/bedroom windows. So now I'm sitting, translating new korean music with the warm light from the gorgeous weather on me and enjoying my day off. Speaking of music, I am soooo addicted to G-Dragon, Lee Hi and Zion T right now.... I'm just so in love. I will post their 3 new songs on the music video page for you all to enjoy!

Oh man stage 2 of the FFXIV beta was kinda lame after the first weekend but I am getting pumped for stage 3! and they are going to let us post stuff about it this time! I'm thinking of doing some fan art or starting a 30 day challenge again. I feel like I'm cheating on myself for not doing this more often. And my manga is suffering as well. I need to find a schedule for work, business, art (comic and blog), gaming and my 90 day weight loss challenge with BodyKey. Once FFXIV fully comes out I have considered doing a 'Let's Play' of it on YouTube along with my time-lapse sketches.

Well back to catching up on work. Maybe post a picture as an update later!

Durarara?

Big picture today. Took me awhile to finish just the sketch of this. Not sure about the pets or twins yet but i will most likely add them. (Based off Durarara end pic)

Since Blogger thinks its toooo big I posted on DA for everyone CLICK ME

Sorry for not posting in awhile! As usual things are crazy. Speaking of which I was also invited to the second beta stage for the re-launch of Final Fantasy XIV : A Realm Reborn! So excited! But means it will cut into my drawing time.... its only for the weekend though until the next phase. So yeah. Maybe after I will want to do some fan art! ;) anyways enjoy!

Love you all <3

So umm?

 

Pyowaan in her school outfit. I haven't been updating as much as I like and I am sorry.  I plan to update more but not every day. Business and work need to come first for me right now. I have also recieved some horrible news that a friend/mentor/coach/business team member was in a fatal car accident last night. This week will be hard as I hope to be there for his wife and kids. 

Anyways, short today. 

Love you all~