Finally had my surgery. And this is gonna sound stupid but every night things have started to get worse and worse inside my head. Anyone with depression might know what I'm talking about. That sinking feeling like you're just sucked deeper and deeper into a black void and life is the one holding you under the surface yet let's you up for a quick breath once in a while. Things really aren't that bad in perspective, yet I feel like I am a burden on everyone including myself and that I really am a horrible person. I hate myself for feeling this way which only makes things worse.
I plan on seeing my doctor in the morning, see if she can help. I know I don't have the guts to do it but I know to get help when you start planning how to realistically go through with it and what or if to write anything. I'm 23 and want to leave this rediculous world and all of its abuse and it scares me.
Really need a hug.
Friday, October 26, 2012
Tuesday, May 01, 2012
Been awhile
Since signing up with a game company I've been getting back into the swing of things artistically. However, my computer video card decided to litteraly burn and so I am waiting on an upgrade to be shipped.. Until it arrives I will just talk about random stuff and done sketches that I'm thinking of posting. Unfortunately nothing of the games I'm working on will be posted ... Until the games have been released of course haha. Anyways love you all and I will chat at you tomorrow!
Monday, March 12, 2012
K-pop, Travel, Tattoos, Tasty Drinks and Games
WARNING!! LONG BLOG POST !!! Worth it though!
As you all know, I haven't been doing so well medically. Things got really scary for me, however I am not out of the burning landscape yet. I want to thank everyone for their help in buying my art. The little that I received made a difference. I would like to extend it for all those that are interested. Like mentioned before, I am still struggling. I have started at a new job and trying to find a second part-time to try and get caught up. For all those LOCALS wanting their tattoos from me lets get in touch! Any means of income right now will really help!
~K-POP~
O ... M ... G ... Big Bang has been pumping my fan-girl engines into overdrive this month. Their 3 new songs are just amazing. It really is nice to see the whole group together again after the problems they faced as of recently.
BLUE - Music video release Feb 21, 2012
BLUE is a song about (in my opinion) letting go of the bad memories and embracing the new ones.
Here are the translated lyrics:
BAD BOY is about ... well bad boys! They sing about feeling bad for treating their ladies badly but because they are who they are, they feel they can't change and plead for the girls to leave but stay.
Here are the lyrics:
As you all know, I haven't been doing so well medically. Things got really scary for me, however I am not out of the burning landscape yet. I want to thank everyone for their help in buying my art. The little that I received made a difference. I would like to extend it for all those that are interested. Like mentioned before, I am still struggling. I have started at a new job and trying to find a second part-time to try and get caught up. For all those LOCALS wanting their tattoos from me lets get in touch! Any means of income right now will really help!
~K-POP~
O ... M ... G ... Big Bang has been pumping my fan-girl engines into overdrive this month. Their 3 new songs are just amazing. It really is nice to see the whole group together again after the problems they faced as of recently.
BLUE - Music video release Feb 21, 2012
BLUE is a song about (in my opinion) letting go of the bad memories and embracing the new ones.
Here are the translated lyrics:
The winter had passed
And the spring has come
We have withered
And our hearts are bruised from longing
And the spring has come
We have withered
And our hearts are bruised from longing
(i’m singing my blues)
Used to the blue tears, blue sorrow
(i’m singing my blues)
The love that i have sent away with the floating clouds, oh oh
Used to the blue tears, blue sorrow
(i’m singing my blues)
The love that i have sent away with the floating clouds, oh oh
Under the same sky, at different places
Because you and i are dangerous
I am leaving you
One letter difference from ‘nim’^
It’s cowardly but i’m hiding because i’m not good enough
Cruel breakup is like the end of the road of love
No words can comfort me
Perhaps my lifetime’s last melodrama
Now its final curtain is coming down
Because you and i are dangerous
I am leaving you
One letter difference from ‘nim’^
It’s cowardly but i’m hiding because i’m not good enough
Cruel breakup is like the end of the road of love
No words can comfort me
Perhaps my lifetime’s last melodrama
Now its final curtain is coming down
I was born and i met you
And i have loved you to death
My cold heart that has been dyed blue
Even with my eyes closed, i can’t feel you
And i have loved you to death
My cold heart that has been dyed blue
Even with my eyes closed, i can’t feel you
The winter had passed
And the spring has come
We have withered
And our hearts are bruised from longing
And the spring has come
We have withered
And our hearts are bruised from longing
(i’m singing my blues)
Used to the blue tears, blue sorrow
(i’m singing my blues)
The love that i have sent away with the floating clouds, oh oh
Used to the blue tears, blue sorrow
(i’m singing my blues)
The love that i have sent away with the floating clouds, oh oh
I feel like my heart has stopped beating
You and i, frozen there, after a war
Trauma, that has been carved in my head
Once these tears dry up, i will moistly remember my love
I’m neither painful nor lonely
Happiness is all self-talk
I can’t stand something more complicated
It’s no big deal, i don’t care
Inevitable wandering, people come and go
You and i, frozen there, after a war
Trauma, that has been carved in my head
Once these tears dry up, i will moistly remember my love
I’m neither painful nor lonely
Happiness is all self-talk
I can’t stand something more complicated
It’s no big deal, i don’t care
Inevitable wandering, people come and go
I was born and i met you
And i have loved you to death
My cold heart that has been dyed blue
Even if you have left, i’m still here
And i have loved you to death
My cold heart that has been dyed blue
Even if you have left, i’m still here
(i’m singing my blues)
Used to the blue tears, blue sorrow
(i’m singing my blues)
The love that i have sent away with the floating clouds, oh oh
Used to the blue tears, blue sorrow
(i’m singing my blues)
The love that i have sent away with the floating clouds, oh oh
Again tonight, underneath that blue moonlight
I will probably fall asleep alone
Even in my dreams, i look for you
And wander around while singing this song
I will probably fall asleep alone
Even in my dreams, i look for you
And wander around while singing this song
(i’m singing my blues)
Used to the blue tears, blue sorrow
(i’m singing my blues)
The love that i have sent away with the floating clouds, oh oh
Used to the blue tears, blue sorrow
(i’m singing my blues)
The love that i have sent away with the floating clouds, oh oh
(i’m singing my blues)
Used to the blue tears, blue sorrow
(i’m singing my blues)
The love that i have sent away with the floating clouds, oh oh
Used to the blue tears, blue sorrow
(i’m singing my blues)
The love that i have sent away with the floating clouds, oh oh
BAD BOY - Music video release Feb 28, 2012
BAD BOY is about ... well bad boys! They sing about feeling bad for treating their ladies badly but because they are who they are, they feel they can't change and plead for the girls to leave but stay.
Here are the lyrics:
I was too harsh that night
I didn’t know you would really leave
The words, “I’m sorry”, is too difficult for us that we take it to the end
Because I’m ill-tempered
We fight over stupid things numerous times a day
You take off crying, I look around and think,
‘She’ll come back tomorrow. She’ll definitely call me first in the morning’
I didn’t know you would really leave
The words, “I’m sorry”, is too difficult for us that we take it to the end
Because I’m ill-tempered
We fight over stupid things numerous times a day
You take off crying, I look around and think,
‘She’ll come back tomorrow. She’ll definitely call me first in the morning’
Baby, I can’t, I’m so bad that I want to be good to you but it’s hard
Every day and night I’m so mean cuz I’m so real so I’m sorry (but I can’t change)
Every day and night I’m so mean cuz I’m so real so I’m sorry (but I can’t change)
I’m the one you love but sorry I’m a bad boy
Yes, just leave me, good bye, you’re a good girl
The more time passes, the more you get to know me, only disappointments will remain but
Baby don’t leave me, I know you still love me
Why, yes, I’ll tell you the truth, I need you
My lay lay lay lay lady
My lay lay lay lay lady
Yes, just leave me, good bye, you’re a good girl
The more time passes, the more you get to know me, only disappointments will remain but
Baby don’t leave me, I know you still love me
Why, yes, I’ll tell you the truth, I need you
My lay lay lay lay lady
My lay lay lay lay lady
You say that I’m different than other guys so it’s hard
You’re still like a young girl with a soft heart
For you, who is always smiling next to me, I’m still too young
With the excuse that I’m busy, I postpone our date
Because I’m sorry, because I’m frustrated, I turn my head
The bride in my dreams is just a friend now
Upset over the breakup, we are silent
You’re still like a young girl with a soft heart
For you, who is always smiling next to me, I’m still too young
With the excuse that I’m busy, I postpone our date
Because I’m sorry, because I’m frustrated, I turn my head
The bride in my dreams is just a friend now
Upset over the breakup, we are silent
Baby, I can’t, I’m so bad that I want to be good to you but it’s hard
Every day and night I’m so mean cuz I’m so real so I’m sorry (but I can’t change)
Every day and night I’m so mean cuz I’m so real so I’m sorry (but I can’t change)
I’m the one you love but sorry I’m a bad boy
Yes, just leave me, good bye, you’re a good girl
The more time passes, the more you get to know me, only disappointments will remain but
Baby don’t leave me, I know you still love me
Why, yes, I’ll tell you the truth, I need you
My lay lay lay lay lady
My lay lay lay lay lady
Yes, just leave me, good bye, you’re a good girl
The more time passes, the more you get to know me, only disappointments will remain but
Baby don’t leave me, I know you still love me
Why, yes, I’ll tell you the truth, I need you
My lay lay lay lay lady
My lay lay lay lay lady
Don’t say a thing
I act tough but I’m not inside
Don’t abandon me
You know that there’s no one who will understand me like you, baby
Oh you, come back to me ye ye ye
I act tough but I’m not inside
Don’t abandon me
You know that there’s no one who will understand me like you, baby
Oh you, come back to me ye ye ye
I’m the one you love but sorry I’m a bad boy
Yes, just leave me, good bye, you’re a good girl
The more time passes, the more you get to know me, only disappointments will remain but
Baby don’t leave me, I know you still love me
Why, yes, I’ll tell you the truth, I need you
My lay lay lay lay lady
My lay lay lay lay lady
Yes, just leave me, good bye, you’re a good girl
The more time passes, the more you get to know me, only disappointments will remain but
Baby don’t leave me, I know you still love me
Why, yes, I’ll tell you the truth, I need you
My lay lay lay lay lady
My lay lay lay lay lady
I’m the one you love but sorry I’m a bad boy
Sorry I’m a bad boy, Sorry I’ma bad boy
Yes, just leave me, good bye, you’re a good girl
You’re a good girl, you’re a good girl (X2)
Sorry I’m a bad boy, Sorry I’ma bad boy
Yes, just leave me, good bye, you’re a good girl
You’re a good girl, you’re a good girl (X2)
FANTASTIC BABY - Music video release March 6, 2012
FANTASTIC BABY is about self empowerment, rebellion, fighting for what you believe in and letting go to dance your face off! Party anthem with a deeper meaning FTW!
Here are the translated lyrics:
~TASTY DRINKS~
So I'm not sure who out there is addicted to energy drinks and juice like I am but they can get so expensive, make your heart race or taste just plain nasty right? For me, I used to be big into Rockstar for the taste but they would make my heart race like crazy, so I got into 5 hour energy. Pardon my language but that stuff tastes like essence of ass after a jail community shower. Plus the prices on them are enough to make a person homeless, not to mention the health risks. And its hard to find health juice that has no added sugar and tastes like it should. Until I got my hands on XS and Nutrilite. Cheaper, better for you, shipped to your house and so many different flavors (more flavors in the USA unfortunately for everyone else)! Check it out for yourself~ Best Stuff In The World
~GAMES~
And last but not least, I have been getting into the free to play RTS MMO League of Legends. It isn't usually my cup of tea but its proving to be fun regardless of how badly I get my ass kicked by the cocky, self absorbed, asshat community members. :P
That is all for tonight! Love you all~ PEACE
Here are the translated lyrics:
Come together, everyone gather here
We gon’ party like lilililalala
Open your hearts, empty your minds
Set the fire lilililalala
We gon’ party like lilililalala
Open your hearts, empty your minds
Set the fire lilililalala
Don’t ask for the answer but just take it as it is, go with the flow alright
Face the sky and put your two hands up, up high, wanna jump around oh
Face the sky and put your two hands up, up high, wanna jump around oh
Nananana Nananana Wow Fantastic Baby
Dance I Wanna Dan Dan Dan Dan Dance Fantastic Baby
Dance I Wanna Dan Dan Dan Dan Dance Wow Fantastic Baby
Dance I Wanna Dan Dan Dan Dan Dance Fantastic Baby
Dance I Wanna Dan Dan Dan Dan Dance Wow Fantastic Baby
In this crazy house HEY at the end, it’s the king’s turn HEY
The ground is shaking and 3 minutes is not enough for this race, wait
The atmosphere is overheated Huh Catch Me On Fire Huh
The Real has appeared nanana
The ground is shaking and 3 minutes is not enough for this race, wait
The atmosphere is overheated Huh Catch Me On Fire Huh
The Real has appeared nanana
From one to ten, everything is one level above
Even if we crazily run on sand, we’re still so agile
Because the sky is blue enough,
Don’t ask any questions, just feel it – feel who I am
Even if we crazily run on sand, we’re still so agile
Because the sky is blue enough,
Don’t ask any questions, just feel it – feel who I am
Jump at the sound of your heartbeat till this comes to an end yeah
I Can’t Baby Don’t Stop This
Just go corrupt today (go crazy and rave) let’s go
I Can’t Baby Don’t Stop This
Just go corrupt today (go crazy and rave) let’s go
Wow Fantastic Baby
Dance I Wanna Dan Dan Dan Dan Dance Fantastic Baby
Dance I Wanna Dan Dan Dan Dan Dance Wow Fantastic Baby
Boomshakalaka Boomshakalaka Boomshakalaka Dan Dan Dan Dan Dance
Dance I Wanna Dan Dan Dan Dan Dance Fantastic Baby
Dance I Wanna Dan Dan Dan Dan Dance Wow Fantastic Baby
Boomshakalaka Boomshakalaka Boomshakalaka Dan Dan Dan Dan Dance
Catch me if you can, I’m forever a performer
There are no constraints for me tonight Mama Just Let Me Be Your Lover
Past this chaos nananana
There are no constraints for me tonight Mama Just Let Me Be Your Lover
Past this chaos nananana
From my head to my toes, there’s a visual shock
People know me for my senses that are always ahead
People know me for my senses that are always ahead
My footsteps are faster than others
My youth is a different dimension
Ice ice ice Hold Up nananana
My youth is a different dimension
Ice ice ice Hold Up nananana
Jump at the sound of your heartbeat till this comes to an end yeah
I Can’t Baby Don’t Stop This
Just go corrupt today (go crazy and rave) let’s go
I Can’t Baby Don’t Stop This
Just go corrupt today (go crazy and rave) let’s go
Wow Fantastic Baby
Dance I Wanna Dan Dan Dan Dan Dance Fantastic Baby
Dance I Wanna Dan Dan Dan Dan Dance Wow Fantastic Baby
Boomshakalaka Boomshakalaka Boomshakalaka Dan Dan Dan Dan Dance
Dance I Wanna Dan Dan Dan Dan Dance Fantastic Baby
Dance I Wanna Dan Dan Dan Dan Dance Wow Fantastic Baby
Boomshakalaka Boomshakalaka Boomshakalaka Dan Dan Dan Dan Dance
Let’s all play together Ye Ye Ye let’s all jump together Ye Ye Ye
Let’s all go crazy together Ye Ye Ye Let’s all go together
Wow Fantastic Baby
Let’s all go crazy together Ye Ye Ye Let’s all go together
Wow Fantastic Baby
Now I know I said 3 songs ... which from the group yes... but I can't just let DaeSung-oppa's song WINGS just slip by. This song is so uplifting and can put a smile on my face just like everyone of his songs (well all but one haha). There is no video for this song (because YG is mean and has done solo videos for every other member except DaeSung) However I really want to share this song with everyone!
And LIVE!!!
And LIVE!!!
Now another mention is the new Japanese song SCREAM by Korean group 2NE1. Its so good~
~TRAVEL~
Alright so my new job is working at a Hostel in Edmonton! It's a wikked sweet job. Everyone is so nice and the atmosphere is amazing. If any of my watchers from around the world and Canada (no Edmonton locals though!) are looking for a budget stay and want to meet new people this place is great! Check it out! GO backpackers Hostel
~TATTOOS~
Alright! Like mentioned earlier, I need some income! Those that have been waiting for a tattoo from me lets get those booked! My hours range at my new job so there will be a time slot for everyone at some point! I will post 3 of my newest though.
~TASTY DRINKS~
So I'm not sure who out there is addicted to energy drinks and juice like I am but they can get so expensive, make your heart race or taste just plain nasty right? For me, I used to be big into Rockstar for the taste but they would make my heart race like crazy, so I got into 5 hour energy. Pardon my language but that stuff tastes like essence of ass after a jail community shower. Plus the prices on them are enough to make a person homeless, not to mention the health risks. And its hard to find health juice that has no added sugar and tastes like it should. Until I got my hands on XS and Nutrilite. Cheaper, better for you, shipped to your house and so many different flavors (more flavors in the USA unfortunately for everyone else)! Check it out for yourself~ Best Stuff In The World
~GAMES~
And last but not least, I have been getting into the free to play RTS MMO League of Legends. It isn't usually my cup of tea but its proving to be fun regardless of how badly I get my ass kicked by the cocky, self absorbed, asshat community members. :P
That is all for tonight! Love you all~ PEACE
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
NEED HELP FROM MY FANS!!!!
I don't like to admit it but I have come across some financial problems as of late from starting new jobs too close to each other and not being able to get caught up. However, I don't seem to have a lot of free time either with my translating, medical problems and other activities which are not fully covering my expenses at the moment. So I really need to get back into what I truly love doing, art. So now is your chance to help me out a bit and get a piece of my work for yourself!
I will have 3 different categories: (prices in Canadian dollars)
CHIBI COMMISSIONS - $6 (per character/person) [digital CG]
>>Get yourself, your favorite person/character drawn as a cute chibi anime character for a small price!
FULL COMMISSIONS - $15 (per character/person) [digital CG]
>>Not into the cute or want to see yourself, friends, loved ones or favorite people in my style then this is 75% off my normal price!
FB COMMISSION AUCTION - Bidding starts at $40 in $1 increments please make the bidding on my facebook. Please be specific as which you are bidding for using the acronyms WC (watercolor), CM (copic marker), and CG for .... CG.
e.g. CG $54
I will update the Auction status on here as ofter as I can throughout the days.
>> WATERCOLOR COMMISSION: Limit of 5 people/animals. Since this item will be mailed out, the size will be determined by the winner and myself.
Top Bidder :
>> COPiC MARKER COMMISSION: Limit of 5 people/animals. Since this item will be mailed out, the size will be determined by the winner and myself.
Top Bidder :
>>CG COMMISSION: Limit of 5 people/animals. The winner for this one will receive a digital copy that will be printable as a poster. If a print is requested I will give a discount.
Top Bidder :
I need at least $600 preferably by the end of the month! Bidding and requests will be taken until then!
Anyone around the world is welcome to this and for the Chibi and Full commissions, if you are interested in receiving an original on paper let me know and we can talk price based on where you live and how you want it colored.
Thank you everyone! I love you all!
Purtalic . Tamakai . Lahncey .
I will have 3 different categories: (prices in Canadian dollars)
CHIBI COMMISSIONS - $6 (per character/person) [digital CG]
>>Get yourself, your favorite person/character drawn as a cute chibi anime character for a small price!
FULL COMMISSIONS - $15 (per character/person) [digital CG]
>>Not into the cute or want to see yourself, friends, loved ones or favorite people in my style then this is 75% off my normal price!
FB COMMISSION AUCTION - Bidding starts at $40 in $1 increments please make the bidding on my facebook. Please be specific as which you are bidding for using the acronyms WC (watercolor), CM (copic marker), and CG for .... CG.
e.g. CG $54
I will update the Auction status on here as ofter as I can throughout the days.
>> WATERCOLOR COMMISSION: Limit of 5 people/animals. Since this item will be mailed out, the size will be determined by the winner and myself.
Top Bidder :
>> COPiC MARKER COMMISSION: Limit of 5 people/animals. Since this item will be mailed out, the size will be determined by the winner and myself.
Top Bidder :
>>CG COMMISSION: Limit of 5 people/animals. The winner for this one will receive a digital copy that will be printable as a poster. If a print is requested I will give a discount.
Top Bidder :
I need at least $600 preferably by the end of the month! Bidding and requests will be taken until then!
Anyone around the world is welcome to this and for the Chibi and Full commissions, if you are interested in receiving an original on paper let me know and we can talk price based on where you live and how you want it colored.
Thank you everyone! I love you all!
Purtalic . Tamakai . Lahncey .
Friday, January 06, 2012
Funny you tube tobogganing video
Watch "The Return of Jingle Balls Tobogganing" on YouTube
My friends friend being stupid. Yay Canadians!
New year!
Wow I haven't written a blog in a long time! Since it is the new year I am hoping to start this up again. I'm looking to start again close to Feburary. I hope most of my fans are still around! Have any suggestions for me to start with sketches again?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)